Stayed in Pueblo!

Hi!

So I'm staying in Pueblo, all four sisters are, which surprised us all. But we are getting a new district leader this week.

This has been a hard week. It all started with Kelsey disappear off the face of the planet and then our new investigator Amy disapperring too. Kelsey has always answered her phone before and she was always home. But now she's never home and she doesn't answer the phone. We can't seem to get any potential investigators as we are tracting or ITLing and we hardly taught any lessons. Is the problem me? I worry that I'm not saying the right things because people have rejected us so hard this week. I try my best to be myself and follow the spirit. But I'm afraid that I'm not doing my best. The worst was after district meeting because everyone else is having success and it's looking bright for the rest of our district but our success is going south, fast. I try so hard not to base my success off of the stats but I've always graded myself by my stats. As a basketball player, the best was the one with the best stats, especially points. I know that is how the world bases success, by numbers, stats and money. But it is hard when even your zone leaders and district leader is telling us that we need to baptize, baptize and if we are not then we aren't working hard enough. Well, they didn't say that straight out.
I got a priesthood blessing from Elder Prior for comfort which greatly helped. The Lord told me that I'm experiencing trials so that I will be pushed to become my best. He also said that He was pleased with my efforts and the sacrifices I had made to come on a mission.
But this morning I was reading through my study journal and reading all the talks and firesides which I had attended when I was at the MTC. I what I got out of it was that it is up to us on how many people we baptize or how successful we are. I read that it is not decided in heaven on who you will baptize. But I always thought that was only to a certain point because God is in control and maybe we aren't baptizing because He wants to test us. But we need to keep working our hardest and then He will bless us but maybe not in the way we feel is right. But how do I know if I'm working my hardest? But then I've always heard that there are only certain people that I can baptize. So my emotions, feelings, and thoughts are torn different ways. But don't worry. I will keep pressing forward as I always have and will work to serve my God with all my heart, might, mind and strength.

My testimony of prayer has been strenghtened the past couple of days. During our interview, you told me to teach from the heart like I was teaching a friend so I've taken that to heart and have been praying for help to do that. I've also been praying about talking to people from the heart, to help get over my shyness. And I've started to see the change. When I try to teach what I feel, I teach better. The spirit is there more strongly. I know that I have a strong testimony and strong feelings of the gospel but I have a hard time putting them into words. So I've been growing as we are going through this rough patch.

The church is true so keep the faith!

Love Sister Sumsion